Maybe you hate someone so much you want to give them a copy of my new book, How to Sell a Haunted House, as a gift this holiday season. However, my book doesn’t come out until January 17th because I am a slow and lazy writer. This puts you in a terrible position. Are you going to wrap up a fake book and stuff it in their stocking? Are you going to put a Post-It Note on the menorah? An IOU under the tree?
Whatever you do, you’re going to look bad. And it’s all my fault.
But here at Powerful Feeling Enterprises, we’re always working on ways to deal with my guilt.
Below you’ll find two pdfs you can download, one in color, and one in black and white. Each pdf is a promissory note you can give to the person for whom you pre-ordered my book. Print it out on fancy paper, put it in an envelope made of kangaroo skin, and seal it with ear wax. This threat of impending doom is written in hand-selected words that have been typed exclusively for you and illustrated with creepy dolls by artist Ryan Dunlavey to form a memento you can pass down for generations. A little something you can give to someone you love that says, “See? You thought things were bad, but they are about to get so much worse.”
Happy Holidays!